Here we are day 3 in the NICU...it's amazing what you forget in 8 years. The feelings you repress all come welling back up...helplessness, loneliness, home sickness...and the sickening realization that your life is on hold for the next few months. And the whole world keeps on spinning but you feel like you are not on it....you are on hold. Your family is separated, your future in uncertain and there is nothing you can do about. Yes, these feelings are real and they make you feel unsettled and fearful, sad and lonely.....We so pray the Lord will place HIS hand on all of us and comfort us.
On a lighter note, Ashleigh is doing good they tell us. She had to be put back on oxygen last night because she was tired. She had to have a 2nd dose of Surfactant and responded well to it again. Her bilirubin was up (meaning she is jaundiced) so she will be under the lights tonight and she dropped an ounce in weight. Hopefully she will continue to get stronger each day. Gabby and I were able to give her a good 'ole fashion rag bath and rub her down with lotion!! After we finished she sacked out and went right to sleep.
Tomorrow will be the start of another week....I would have been 32 wks tomorrow....but we are now starting the long haul of NICU life.
As I close out this post, scripture is being read. Last night was the first night I noticed and it was right after Mom and Dad left which brought comfort to me and Jody. Please don't forget to lift us up in your prayers as we walk one day at a time. We love you all.
